Crying is really a baby’s way of communicating. Particularly in early months, a child cries when she’s hungry, cold, wet, tired, or desires to be held and played with. Between six and nine months, she may cry—particularly at night—because she doesn’t realize that her parents exist unless she sees them. Babies know the planet as either pleasurable or uncomfortable; when their needs are met, they feel good, and if they aren’t, they feel badly and cry.
You might wonder how you must respond as soon as your baby cries. If you select her up each time, will her demands increase? Will there be a chance she’ll become spoiled? Parents who wish to follow their instincts and respond to their baby’s tears often are confused by individuals who say, “Don’t pick her up; you’ll spoil her,” “Let her cry; it’s best for her lungs,” or “You can’t continually be there for her.”
The truth is that picking up your crying baby won’t spoil her. Rather, it can help her produce a sense of security that will make her less likely to cry in the long run. Babies whose cries bring a helpful response commence to anticipate that every time they cry, someone will respond. This cause-and-effect connection gives a child a secure and comfortable feeling and also teaches her to trust her parents. Understanding how to trust is really a critical element of early development. If parents respond erratically and unpredictably with their baby’s cries, their baby will sense that there’s little she may do to affect her environment. In such a situation, she’ll figure out how to feel insecure and mistrust those around her.
Of course, there exists a wide selection of parental behavior involving the extremes of total responsiveness and unresponsiveness. Regardless of how hard you attempt to calm and comfort your infant, you will have occasions when she’ll remain frustrated. But when you’re consistently caring during early months, your infant begins life with a feeling of trust.